I was jolted awake on Sunday evening by the worst nightmare I have ever had. Dreams....good or bad...don't come often for me. If I do dream it is usually so vague that I can barely remember it the next morning. But this was different....it was so real that when I woke up I instantly checked to be sure my husband was close and then I checked on the kids and every door and window. In my dream someone was trying to hurt my girls....I was researching news reports trying to figure out who would want to hurt them. Suddenly a dark figure appeared at our door....I was holding my littlest....when he tried to bust down the door. The scariest part was that as I tried to scream help!help!help!..no sounds came out (because I was dreaming!).
Now, days after my dream, I still can't get it out of my head. I know people say we shouldn't try to understand our dreams, but I can't help but wonder if my subconscious is more frightened by this world than it wants to admit. We have to teach our children how to fight off a shooter before they are even old enough to learn multiplication. Kids can't play outside alone anymore. People can stalk us through our phones and computers....secretly spying on our families. Hospitals aren't safe havens, when good loving parents have to either hand decisions over to doctors or risk loosing their rights altogether.
The list of fear and danger in the world could go on forever. So what do we do? As mothers, sisters, brothers, friends ...how can we live a bright and fulfilling life in a place with so much darkness? It seems reasonable that we lock ourselves in a room of constant sunshine...take our loved ones with us....block out the darkness.
I wish it was that simple.....but life isn't made of only dark and light....the best moments happen in the grey. During those Sunday morning coffees with your grandpa....or on your first hunting trip....when you see the first flicker of a firefly....all of those moments happen when we are in the midst of a little darkness and a little light The only way to really live in this world is to accept the darkness and its role in this world. It has been with us from the beginning of time. Yes we will always have the fear....yes we need to take steps to protect the ones that we love as much as we can, but we can't hide ourselves away. If you want to grow old with no regrets, you have to live life in the grey!